In To Find The Way of Love, I describe how our brains are hard-wired for both vengeance and forgiveness. Both were vital to survival in our earliest days. They have become transformed into self-interest, which we see enacted everywhere in our society, and into acts of altruism, humanity, and courage, which demonstrate our better selves.

There is a reason we thrill to examples of this behavior. People can’t seem to get enough and are deeply touched and inspired by acts of unselfish behavior for another’s good. Look at behavior in times of mutual grief and tragedy, people coming together with a common will: rescue the miners, find the lost child. But watch reactions to years of greed, illegal but protected behavior, andvarious excesses at the expense of others, and a deep, simmering resentment emerges that fuels protests: the civil rights and women’s rights movements, the Wall Street sit-ins, even the Tea Party. People come together, join in solidarity to have a voice.

Then watch reactions to protest. How many elected officials across the globe are interested in listening to the voice of the gathering mass? Watch commentators dismiss them, politicos deride them and discount them: “No clear message.” “No focus.” Trouble-makers.” While this may in part be true, where is the dialogue to clarify the message? When self-interest and fear cloud judgment, violence often erupts. Many of us remember Kent State and the unnecessary deaths that resulted. This showed hierarchy at its most rigid and unyielding. This was and continues to be a polarized society.

Technology, especially the Internet, may provide a path to a better, saner world. Two billion people, one-third of the world’s population, are connected to the Internet. Transparency may end up being more powerful than secrecy. We recently read about police attacking the Occupy Wall Street protestors, who promptly posted a recording of the event on the Web. Soon everything truly will be local.

Fear separates. Love unites. It is helpful to acknowledge and accept that we all possess self-interest and that we are all capable of altruism. What is reinforced, supported, and understood to be in one’s long-term interest can mitigate the regressive pull to short-term self-interest. This would need to be supported by truth telling and evidence rooted in earned trust. Few could argue against truth and trust. The problem would then become, whose truth would be trusted? That is when honest debate and exchange of ideas, supported by a new custom of shunning personal attacks in favor of focusing on issues, and proposing solutions in clear, understandable language could transform our world.

There are places in the world where political campaigns are limited to weeks and personal attacks on opponents are illegal. It’s been working for many years. But in our country today, politics are drowning in self-interest, and mendacity appears to be the norm. It can be thought of as unruly sandbox behavior. We may need a kindergarten for politicians with wise role models, where playing well with others is required and reinforced behavior.

Oliver & Barbara