I have been asked how I came out of numerous hierarchies (Catholic Church, US Navy and business corporations), having largely escaped their imprint on my journey To Find the Way of Love. It is a one step at a time journey.

When I was in Catholic high school, I found it very difficult to take in the message that the Church was more important than its members, or that anyone could have a deeper connection to their spiritual belief or a higher power than anyone else. It made sense to me that we all come from and return to a higher power.

That felt more like equality and common sense. I was greatly aided by my parents’ support of my spirit and sense of adventure. They were devout Catholics who supported my independence while being true to their beliefs.

When I chose to marry outside the Church my father was so upset, he said he would not be able attend the wedding. When the time came, he was there to participate in the event because he valued our relationship more than Church doctrine.

When I was a senior in High School, we were given an assignment to write an essay on, “What Really Matters”. My answer was, what really matters is what a person believes.”

This was not an acceptable answer. I was told what really matters is what matters to the Church. I could not agree so I was sent up the ladder of authority to the school principal, Fr. Burgoyne. Eventually, the authorities gave up their attempts to persuade me. I was allowed to graduate only because, otherwise, I would have been drafted.

Upon graduation, I spent a year in the Maritime Service and then joined the Navy to become a fighter pilot.

My experience as a Navy fighter pilot was the fulfillment of a boyhood  dream. At age five, Admiral Richard Byrd, the founder of Little America in Antarctica, was my hero. I wanted to be like him and that became a persistent goal. At 19, when I joined the Navy, I attended college for two years, then reported to Pensacola for flight training at age 21.

In Catholic school, the outer world and my inner sense of things did not fit, so I went with what felt right. In the military, it was different. It was not a hierarchical experience because, in fighter squadrons, everyone is equal. Rank is not important. A pilot is a pilot. I flew in the four-plane division of my commanding officer who was a full Commander while I was an Ensign. We were both pilots and the job of a pilot is to fly. Everything else is secondary.

In the world of business, I was fortunate, at age 32, to be the CEO of  the Palo Alto – Stanford Hospital with Bill Hewlett, cofounder of Hewlett-Packard, as my boss. I shared his vision of management as a cooperative endeavor and not a hierarchical structure built on power and status. He exemplified this belief in his life.

I feel I have been most fortunate to have  found rewarding with fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect. In this kind of environment , people want to do their best. That becomes the norm with the awareness that we are all in this together and have a common goal, the reward of a job well done.

Oliver & Barbara